As a 26 year old male, of above average intelligence, who has lived in the southern united states his entire life - I know what it feels like to be surrounded by idiots. Like completely surrounded, so surrounded that even Indiana Jones would give up. And he didn't even give up when that unpainted blue man group made the entire world spin backwards - while that kid from the disney channel ran around going "no-nononnono! no! no!" (see: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8IXCK1EyP4s) - and Cate Blanchett acted like a russian or german or armenian bomber pilot or some shit - i honestly couldnt tell you what the fuck happened at the end of that movie.
Point is. Teh Suxor.
If you are not from the south and are wondering what the experience entails, here is a pretty succinct example:
Okay... close your eyes and imagine you're in school. The teacher asks a question to the class, and you know the answer. You raise your hand, the teacher calls on you, and confidently you answer. You got it right! Congratulations!
Oh wait, now 55 people are going to kick you in the balls.
And then the 20 people in the class who don't know the answer, they all get a bag of money.
And oh no, they were all bags of your money.
Keep in mind, this is a metaphor.
In real life your class would have 70 kids and no teacher.
The reason I bring this up is this morning, while depositing a secret sum of money into my member's only credit union - there was a contracting crew in the parking lot. I started to get out of my car to go into said financial institution, and was very careful not to let my door hit the door of a huge truck, driven by a man who was either blind, or had no arms. And despite his not fully grasping the idea of a parking space - one must commend a blind, no armed man for getting even close to within the lines of said parking spot.
One time Stevie Wonder tried to parallel park, and that's how Flavor Flav was born - according to science.
Imagine my surprise when I found that the driver of the truck was neither blind - nor horribly maimed (although both fates should befall him immediately). I became aware of these startling facts when he said the following:
"Bednawscratchmahtruck."
And i shit you not. He actually spit after he "said" that.
So I say the only thing one could say in this situation...
"Huh?"
"Bednawscratchmahtruck, nerd."
Now to his credit - I do wear rather large glasses. And i'm sure he'd just been up all night cramming for the LSAT - which would explain his bad attitude.
But here's the point:
Once or twice a week, living in the south, you find yourself looking around - wondering if you're on a hidden camera show. Like seriously, did that lady really just try to return a single roll of toilet paper? (which i saw the other morning in a drug store - she even had a coupon to dispute). And the worst part - society here is actually supportive of ignorance. I would say that it is actually harder to be intelligent and live comfortably here - than to, I don't know, be someone who enjoys watching cars drive in circles, or the musical stylings of Nickelback.
This series will continue until all the stupid people are taken away by the rapture - or i finally save enough money to move away.
I'll let you decide which one is more likely.
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