Ask Phil - 004

Dear Phil,

I am a 28 year-old single professional woman with a successful career and I am financially well off.. I am also taking classes for a graduate degree. I love my career and I am a bookworm.

People assume that I have it all, and that I should be tremendously happy. In reality, I drive about 100-150 miles per day, have little free time, and am frequently so exhausted I just fall into bed at night. I have some casual friends I do things with, but I have no close friends. I haven't dated in almost 3 years. I am considered attractive, but I don't normally spend a lot of time on my appearance.

How can I have it all yet have nothing? This isn't me, and I don't like my existence. It would be nice to just sit, talk, and laugh. When I do, it feels like I'm wasting time. I feel like I'm 40. Help!

signed,
jettadriver04


Dear jettadriver04:

First off, if you indeed feel like you're 40 - I would recommend purchasing lotion, and using it every single day. Maybe splurge and get some of that expensive lotion with fruit and rainbows in it - but absolutely no flower scents. Flower scented lotion will make your old ass smell like a funeral home on laundry day.

The rest of your problems are a little tougher... but let me emphasize that you must act fast as you are aging every day. Every week that passes after a woman turns 21, the age of men that will date her goes up by one year.

So, if my calculations are correct, at 28 the youngest man that you could possibly date is 650 years old.

Oh, and here's an idea - maybe spend some time on your appearance. Even Jason Alexander runs a comb through his hair, if you catch my drift.

And not to state the obvious but if you have no free time, don't drive 150 miles every day. That's gotta take you like 3 hours. Three hours that you could be applying lotion - or going to one of those sad singles speed dating things. I understand that you like driving, but sometimes you have to sacrifice.

Good god, you don't have a bunch of cats, do you?

I hope that answers your question!

Phil.